Wednesday, May 27, 2015

Braineater Jones by Stephen Kozeniewski

Braineater Jones wakes up face down in a swimming pool with no memory of his former life, how he died, or why he’s now a zombie. With a smart-aleck severed head as a partner, Jones descends into the undead ghetto to solve his own murder.
But Jones’s investigation is complicated by his crippling addiction to human flesh. Like all walking corpses, he discovers that only a stiff drink can soothe his cravings. Unfortunately, finding liquor during Prohibition is costly and dangerous. From his Mason jar, the cantankerous Old Man rules the only speakeasy in the city that caters to the postmortem crowd.
As the booze, blood, and clues coagulate, Jones gets closer to discovering the identity of his killer and the secrets behind the city’s stranglehold on liquid spirits. Death couldn’t stop him, but if the liquor dries up, the entire city will be plunged into an orgy of cannibalism.
Cracking this case is a tall order. Braineater Jones won’t get out alive, but if he plays his cards right, he might manage to salvage the last scraps of his humanity. 

My Thoughts
★★★★ I need a moment... Stars.
I'm really trying to figure out how to go about rating this book. 3 stars because it wasn't my thing, or 4 because even though it wasn't my thing, it was still a good book?
I'll go with 4.
So glad for the author's warning at the start of the book. 
Really. It makes you go "THANK YOU!" otherwise, you would have a hole in your wall from throwing the book so hard.
Now, personally, this book was NOT my thing. I kept sitting here going, "sooo....when are the actual zombies gonna step in? Where's the blood and guts?" Never happened, yet there were some things that might make you scrunch your face up, going "ew." *cough*the fetus*cough* That part really makes me want to cry. Every time Old man (even though he is a total jerk) came into the picture, it broke my heart. Broke my heart yet made me want to hurl at the same time because what I picture is just straight up gross and stomach turn-y.
The book was actually pretty good if you are into detective/mystery books really. Jones just happened to be a dead detective...  kinda. "Zombie" here IMO would be used very loosely because to me, he's not a zombie.. he is just undead. Plain and simple.
I give this 4 stars, detectives just aren't my thing, and the 30's talk just kept throwing me off (though thankfully about halfway through the author was like "You do know there is a glossary in the back right?" lol. But still. I think I can only handle 30's in movies. (Shocking, I know)
Anyway, if you like mysteries, or love old settings, I really do think this is up your alley.

Tuesday, May 19, 2015

Party Games by R.L. Stine


Her friends warn her not to go to Brendan Fear's birthday party at his family's estate on mysterious Fear Island. But Rachel Martin has a crush on Brendan and is excited to be invited. Brendan has a lot of party games planned. But one game no one planned intrudes on his party—the game of murder. As the guests start dying one by one, Rachel realizes to her horror that she and the other teenagers are trapped on the tiny island with someone who may want to kill them all. How to escape this deadly game? Rachel doesn't know whom she can trust. She should have realized that nothing is as it seems… on Fear Island.
R.L. Stine makes his triumphant return to Shadyside, a town of nightmares, shadows, and genuine terror, and to the bestselling series that began his career writing horror for the juvenile market, in the new Fear Street book Party Games.

My Thoughts
★★★★ What just happened? Stars.
No, really, what just happened?
I love ALL of his books, but this one disappointed me. He really dropped the ball on this. Of course, pretty much everything about this book was perfect, but I just feel like I've read this book before and only the settings and characters have changed? I have no idea. But I give it 4 stars. Because it's still a really awesome book, I just can't shake the feeling I've read this book before, even though I know I haven't. I'm honestly just at a loss for words right now. I expected so much more from the ending because let us fans face it, the Fear Street endings are NEVER that simple of a thing. Haha, so that was a mega change.

Friday, May 15, 2015

Time of Death: Asylum (Time of Death #2) by Shana Festa


Surviving the journey is just the beginning. 
The last two months have brought nothing but death and destruction for Emma Rossi. She survived the initial zombie outbreak with her husband, Jake, and their dog, Daphne, but the cost was steep: Sanibel has fallen.
In a world where the only constant is change, the group is pushed to their limits before reaching the gates of Asylum, a coastal stronghold in Sarasota, Florida. 
Once again, Emma must navigate an apocalyptic wasteland filled with relentless hordes of the undead and other menacing horrors that threaten her survival. 
Only thing is certain. No one is safe from what lurks on either side of Asylum's gates. Asylum may offer more than just safety. Sanity will be tested; and many won't live to tell the tale.

My Thoughts
★★★★★+ Heart Ripping Undead Stars.
I received this book in return for an honest review.
*runs fangirling all around the house-and regrets nothing!*
Asylum alone just sounds creepy to me, so of course before I even started reading it, I was on the verge of panic. Hey, zombies I can take... Asylums? ... not so much. *shudders*
Anywho. love that it picks up from where past one leaves off and even does a bit of a recap for those who had to wait for this second book to come out. Everything is so different and so much more intense in this book. I can't tell you how many times I had a "I can't breathe! I forgot how to breathe! It hurts to even try! How do I breathe!?!" moments.
The one this I could truly rely on was the humor.

I want to take this moment to really thank Shana because her books and humor got me through these dark times I've been going through. When I thought I hit bottom, I would just pick this book up and laugh my ass off. I think any time I'm starting to feel sad or depressed I'll just reread these books.
(Thank you so much Shana! You're the best!)

From book one I always thought Jake was a okay guy really. but after what happens to his brother, he just goes off the deep end and treats Emma like crap... like so much crap my jaw dropped and I was "catching flies" as we say round here.
You ain't the only one hurting, buddy! I'm hurting too!
...for a whole nother reason though.
ooo Vinny *fans self*
Aaaaand then Shana has a John Green moment
*Sobs hysterically*
My heart just kinda feels like it's shattered into a bazillion pieces and I'm just like
And so on, main thing here really though is Emma needs to whoop Jake's ass because there is only so much any one can take and I think he crossed everyone's line. What a freakin douche. Hell, I know Meg is hurt and not even she is acting like a jerk. I really miss the happy go lucky Meg though... I hope she can find true happiness and not have it ripped away. She seems like such a good person, she really deserves it. I really hate 99.7% of the people in Asylum already. smfh. Stinkin high-fallootin folks need to shut up. Now I have to wait for book three and I just want to curl into a ball and cry my eyes out. I want to know what happens! I have to know!! I mean really. What will happen to everyone? and what is Striker's story? Will he ever come out of his shell? Will he join Emma and Jake's team? Will the Asylum fall? Good gah! There are to many questions I need answered! I'm going to go insane.

I fully recommend this book, just make sure everyone is awake when you read it because your fangirl moments would probably wake the whole household.

Tuesday, May 12, 2015

RELEASED TODAY: All Good Things (The Breadwinner Trilogy Book 3) by Stevie Kopas

Have you read this book yet? You NEED to read it! Actually, you need to read all the books: The Breadwinner, Haven, and All Good Things. Oh my gosh. Mega epic books. and whats awesome? All Good Things has just released! So what are you waiting for! Go to amazon and get it! Stevie is an amazing writer. Seriously. You'll probably love the book almost as much as me. I only say probably because... lets face it, I was the one running up and down the house fangirling my head off. :) Anywho! Go! Shoo! Go get it! Noooowwww! Here's the link for quick access:

Tuesday, May 5, 2015

Time of Death: Induction by Shana Festa


When no one or nowhere is safe, where do you go to escape the monsters? 
In a few short days, 37 year old Emma Rossi’s hard work will finally pay off. She will don her cap and gown and graduate with a degree in nursing, but not before she loses her first patient and is confronted with a new reality. In Cape Coral, Florida, a storm approaches. The dead are coming back to life. 
And they’re hungry. 
Infection ravages the Eastern Seaboard with alarming speed while attempts to contain the spread of infection fail. Within days, a small pocket of panicked survivors are all that remain of civilization. Fighting to survive the zombie apocalypse alongside her husband Jake and their dog Daphne, Emma comes face-to-face with her worst nightmare. 
Relying on snarky wit and sheer determination, she is forced to commit atrocious acts to protect her family and avoid joining the ranks of the undead. 

My Thoughts
★★★★★ Undead Stars.
How do I review?! I forgot how to review!
Not really, but my brain just kinda feels like... "What. just. happened?"
*insert missing Grease "This wasn't suppose to happen GIF*
That ending!!
Now that that bit is out of the way, can I just say "Whoa!" This book was bloody brilliant! Loved it is a understatement. I really loved everything about this book. From the start it really sucks you in and keeps you on the edge of your seat. The characters were PERFECTION! The. Humor. Oh my gosh, the humor in this story had me rolling, I was laughing so hard. I have to admit, it's that kind of crude humor, which is perfectly fine with me! Why? Because this is actually the kind of humor I have myself. So while others might say "Ew..", I'm the one with tears streaming down my cheeks from laughing so hard. This book completes me. Haha just kidding, but really though. I was NOT expecting that ending... at all. I kinda had to sit there sunk into the couch like "What... Why... But.." Not even my mind could process it fully. Haha. I believe someone has been taking lessons from John Green! "Ohhh you love this character? ... be a shame is they die. *character dies horribly*"
While I'm then left in a puddle of my own tears. Lol I can't wait to start book two! I HAVE TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS!
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