Sunday, January 22, 2017

Get It Together, Delilah! by Erin Gough


Title: Get It Together, Delilah!
Author: Erin Gough
Genre: YA/LGBQ
My Rating: 1/5

A story about falling in love, literally.
Seventeen-year-old Delilah Green wouldn’t have chosen to do her last year of school this way, but she figures it’s working fine. Her dad is on a trip to fix his broken heart after her mom left him for another man, so Del’s managing the family café in his absence. Easy, she thinks. But what about:
- homework and the nasty posse of mean girls making her life hell
- or how one of Del’s best friends won’t stop guilt-tripping her
- and her other best friend is so in love with his tutor he might go to jail for her if Del doesn’t do something
But who cares about any of that really, because above all else, she can’t stop thinking about beautiful Rosa who dances every night across the street until one day Rosa comes in the café door . . .
And if Rosa starts thinking about Del, too, then how in the name of caramel milkshakes will Del get the rest of it together?

My Thoughts
★ Stars
I received this book in return for an honest review.
For the sake of my eyeballs, I'm done. DNF @ 15%. 

The writing is so freaking horrific, I want to claw my eyeballs out of my head then pour salt in the sockets. Lovely, eh?

There is no character building at all. I have no idea what the hell is being said half the time. How anyone can is beyond me. Honestly, the blurb of this book sounded very promising. It actually made sense and was worded to make sense. Little did I know this book would leave me in actual pain. My eyeballs are killing me.

You start the book off, I guess you're suppose to be psychic and know every character already because goodness knows you get no detail of anyone. Of course, if you do, the information you are given makes you hate them with a passion of wishing you could drop them in a case of acid. But hey. Whatever.

The title... what the hell is this book called? I see so many people reviewing THIS BOOK, even have actual hard copies that say "The Flywheel" yet, lo and behold..... It's now "Get It Together, Delilah!"? or am I missing something?

So yeah. Horrific writing, no character building, every changing book name.... I would give it zero stars but alas, I am forced to give it at least one star. If you want a book that will stress you out from the start then by all means dig right in. Or you can save yourself the stress headache and pass this bad boy up.

Friday, January 13, 2017

The Marked by Emerald Barnes


Title: The Marked
Series: Knight's Academy Book 1
Author: Emerald Barnes
Genre: YA/Paranormal
My Rating: 5/5

Myka Williams has never fit in with her peers, and although her adoptive parents are loving and supportive, she feels most at home alone in the woods.
When she's offered a full scholarship to Knight's Academy in the Smoky Mountains of Tennes-see, she takes the opportunity for a fresh start. She soon learns that Knight’s Academy is more than just a school. Within the stone walls of the institution, humans and vampires are mixing, and their offspring are going unnoticed.
As Myka falls prey to the evil plan of the school, she makes a chilling discovery about her own heritage and realizes that she’s at the Academy for more than just an education. Myka must yield to her birthright at the risk of losing everyone she loves or succumb to the fate that Knight’s Academy has in store for her—a fate worse than death.

My Thoughts
★★★★★+++ Stars
I received this book in return for an honest review.
I actually finished this book way earlier today but am still sitting here not sure what to say. 
It really ins't that often you come across a book that makes you want to write the whole review in gifs because words fail you, so if I use to many gifs, I am sorry, words fail me right now over how awesome this book is. Lol

The Marked is one of those rare books that you literally don't want to put down. It is also one that makes you want to scream your head off when people keep bugging you while you read it.
Ohhh how I wanted to read this all in one sitting but I forced myself to take breathers before my head exploded or I end up throwing my book.

When I first started this book, I thought it had a Vampire Knight mood/setting but, after a while, that changed. The writing was so fluid. The only thing I really had trouble with was the intro. I felt it gave away to much to soon but I don't think it is enough to make someone quit, just makes them a bit curious of "Will this come out like all the others or will this be different?" As someone who has read a lot of these kinds of books, this is different. Oddly enough you think one person will be the bad guy, only to find out, yeah, he is a bad guy but then Preston walks right the heck in. And if this guy does NOT make you want to rip his head off, then you might slightly be a psycho. (jk...maybe. lol)
I mean from the second you mean Preston, you just get this creeper vibe, like really bro?

"He wrapped his arm around her waist [...]"

Preston took her hand in his and led her to the cafeteria.

and the infamous bad guy line:
You're mine.

Oh reeeeeaaaaalllllly, home skillet. You think so?

And that is just a few of the many many many cringe worthy, anger filling moments. 

But then there is Milo, there is so much I want to say here but the one thing that conquers all every time I think about his character is Kiss the Girl and Your Body Is A Wonderland, Which I actually made a joke to the author talking about a remix song "Kiss the Wonderland" lol

I did expect more from Milo though. I felt like his character lacked just a little bit. But, since book two is still in the works, I'm sure it's just building up his character.

Myka's parents got on my nerves. I won't lie. They seemed more like teenage siblings than her parents. Which made me question them every time they come on the set. Her dad seemed to complain a lot, but eh. I rolled with it. It wasn't until the mom stepped in and was trying to buy her a dress that in my opinion made Myka seem like a total whore. Her mom was to much like a "best friend" even being rebellious to her own husband who didn't like the dress nor wanted to buy the dress.... story short, she got the dress. OH! I know who she reminds me of! Regina George's mother!

Ugh this book was bloody brilliant though. Honestly. From start to finish. Full of surprises. I really would recommend this book.

Friday, January 6, 2017

Lesbian Zombies from Outer Space by Jave Galt-Miller, Wayne A. Brown


Title: Lesbian Zombies from Outer Space #1
Series: Lesbian Zombies from Outer Space
Author: Jave Galt-Miller
Genre: Erotica/Horror/SyFy/Mature/Comic/Graphic Novel/Adult
My Rating: 5/5

Get issue #1 of the zom-com limited-series comic where fantasy turns to nightmare. Ace just wants to film his buddy's threesome, but suddenly all the girls in town are transforming into lesbian zombies. And these girls are not looking for brains. He'll have to team with an unlikely friend to run for his life and stop the funniest, sexiest apocalypse you've ever seen. Sometimes when Hot Girls make out - it's Evil! --Mature Content

My Thoughts
★★★★★ Stars
I received this book in return for an honest review.

I can honestly say I have never read anything like this before in my life. When I was asked to read it, I have to admit, I stared at the email for 10 minutes wondering if I should be like "Um, noooo" or take a chance on something new.

Glad I took a chance. But y'all, I am dead laughing. Also, I think my fiance is traumatized. I read this while he was by me and lets say, by the time he was curious what I was reading and looked, it had done gotten bloody... The look on his face was priceless. *rofl*

Anywho, this is not my kind of read at all, but it was still great. Lol. I thought the drawings were awesome and I thought the writing and the storyline was interesting. It keeps you drawn in, even if that reason is "Who the hell comes up with this stuff!?" Not to mention the action was awesome... in more ways that one *manic laugh mwahahahha* XD (you'd have to read it to get it) 

I really wouldn't call this a comic, but I would call it more of a graphic novel. That's just me though. 
If you are well over 18 and looking for a rare interesting read, I would recommend this. lol

***AGES 18 AND UP***

Tuesday, January 3, 2017

The Isle of the Lost by Melissa de la Cruz


Title: The Isle of the Lost
Series: Descendants #1
Author: Melissa de la Cruz
Genre: MG/YA/Fantasy
My Rating: 3/5

Twenty years ago, all the evil villains were banished from the kingdom of Auradon and made to live in virtual imprisonment on the Isle of the Lost. The island is surrounded by a magical force field that keeps the villains and their descendants safely locked up and away from the mainland. Life on the island is dark and dreary. It is a dirty, decrepit place that's been left to rot and forgotten by the world.
But hidden in the mysterious Forbidden Fortress is a dragon's eye: the key to true darkness and the villains' only hope of escape. Only the cleverest, evilest, nastiest little villain can find it...who will it be?

My Thoughts
★★★ Stars
My shattered. 

I had such high hopes for this book! I mean, I have fangirled over this book since it first came out, I wanted it so bad. Now, I wish I was still in the shadows, living in book ignorance. 
It was a okay book, don't get me wrong. But it lacked so much. I loved all the characters except Mal. 
AND MAL IS NORMALLY MY FAVORITE!!! So how cruddy is that!
I felt like she was not a strong character here. If anything, she whined way to much. She's all talk and no action. It bugged me so many people feared her when she did nothing at all. From how she talks, she would be terrified if someone actually challenged her. 
I feel like the other characters were more stronger than Mal was, which doesn't make sense because Mal is really the actual main character. 

I love how the story went back and explained so much though, it helps the movie make sense. (Yeah, yeah, I know. I saw the movie first *gasp in horror* aaaaand the movie was better IMO)

Melissa de la Cruz is really a good author, but in every book I have read from her, something is missing from them all. That extra punch, the "UMPH!" But yet she always writes well enough so keep readers coming back. It's truly a rare talent. 

I can't wait to get my hands on book 2.
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