{Review} No One Gets Out Alive

Synopsis|줄거리

Original Title: No One Gets Out Alive
Director Santiago Menghini
Distributor: Imaginarium Productions
Released: September 29, 2021
Genre: Horror/Thriller/Mystery
Language: English
Country: USA
My Rating: 1/10
Add To: Netflix
Desperate and without documentation, a woman from Mexico moves into a rundown Cleveland boardinghouse. Then the unsettling cries and eerie visions begin.

No One Gets Out Alive is a 2021 horror film directed by Santiago Menghini, written by Jon Croker, Fernanda Coppel and Adam Nevill and starring Marc Menchaca, Cristina Rodlo, and Victoria Alcock. It was released on 29 September 2021 by Netflix.

Review|리뷰

★ Star

~Spoilers and vulgar language; I'M SORRY!!!~

This was without a doubt the most AWFUL movie I have watched in 2021. That is saying a lot too. I know I have rated a fair amount of movies/shows pretty low this year but even with all the other movies, this one is hands down the most terrible movie I have watched. 

There was nothing enjoyable or scary about this. From the start, I hated the main character Ambar. For someone trying to make a new life, she sure in hell wanted everyone to appease her when she wanted. Like.... are you serious? These people owe you nothing. Not to mention you're where you are illegally. Why? I have no idea, from how much she talked, she could have went through the proper channels. But hey, whatever. If we look over there, her character were so so sooooooo fucking stupid. Any and every red flag was thrown at her and she just accepted them with open arms. Oh you just started working somewhere and going to believe a new "friend" with thousands of dollars? What? 

Oh there is this affordable place where it's ran by a man but it's women only? Oh no, that isn't sus at all. Oh your housemates go missing but mysteriously pop back up? Yeah nothing screams danger here. Oh you see ghosts? 

My head hurts so bad. I'm just so damn irritated. You'd think it would end there, but nooooo. The dude she rents from states the rules. Plain and clear. Like points out what rooms are off limits. And what did she do the first chance she got? Went into his room and poked around in shit that offered nothing to the movie. 

Does it get better after that? Ohhhhh no. Because she is illegal of course she lies to her cousin in hopes he will help her get a job, which he tries. Never-fucking-mind that if she is caught he could go to prison for helping her. Nevermind he has his OWN family he needs to take care of. Nope. She doesn't give a shit. Because what does she do later when she is in trouble? Calls him. Of course you know how that will end. It never ends well for those people. So again, What the fuck she thought he could do, I don't know. But I hate her damn GUTS because she KNEW. SHE KNEW and she didn't fucking care. 

Okay now if we just fast forward off of what a mememmemememememmememememememeemeemmee what *I* want bitch she is, can we talk about the monster? What the uncircumsized penis was that? 

oooooooo a mysterious box. ooooooo creepy books. oOoOoOoOo ghosties... just WHAT THE FUCK! The monster was cringy and laughable because no matter how you look at it, it's a joke. Coming at you, yeah it looks kinda cool.. but the moment it's like "OoOoOo Im GoNnA TaKe YoUr HeAd OoOoOoOoOo" the arms come out and it looks like a uncircumsized penis or a saggy vag lips about to suck your head up into it. So any moment of "whoaaaa" is instantly dried up with "what the actual and literal fucking fuck is that? -_____- "

And it offers ZERO information about said monster. Everything is vague as hell. Okay if they kill women, it makes his brother better? Better how? Why? What the hell is even that thing?! I HATE SHIT LIKE THIS!!! WHAT IS THE POINT!!!! Oh and you can survive said monster if you just tell it "no"?????????????????????????????????????????????? CAN YOU FEEL MY CONFUSION?!?!? All these dead people ALL OF THEM, but here comes miss me me me who says "no" to it's "stay with me" and it's like "oh okay" and goes back into the box. Bro... WHAT?!?! 

Gotta love that ending where he snaps her ankle and she's still able to walk on it no problem. Yeah okay bro. That's totally how that works. 

This movie was bullshit and I do apologize for my vulgar language through this but I am so pissed off that I wasted my time with this movie, I want to rate it NEGATIVE stars.