Sunday, July 2, 2017

Suburban Zombie High by Jeremy Flagg

Synopsis

Title: Suburban Zombie High
Author: Jeremy Flagg
Genre: Young Adult/Trash/Zombies
My Rating: 1/5
Add To: Goodreads

Boxford High pranksters cause a chemistry lab to go wrong and students are forced to face something far worse than S.A.T.’s and cafeteria lunches – an infection that turns students into zombies scouring the halls for survivors.
A group of unlikely companions; an artistic goth, star-athlete jock, disgruntled loner, would-be marine, sassy cheerleader, and angry Asian, set aside their homework to fend off the zombie apocalypse. As they fight through locker rooms and dance their way across the theater, they find surviving zombies may be more difficult than puberty.
Now they must set aside homework and bake sale fundraisers to fend off the zombie apocalypse before the infection reaches beyond the walls of their suburban high school.




My Thoughts
★ Star
DNF @ 14% (Chapter 5)

I am a zombie fanatic. Obsessed really. Anyone that knows me will tell you I live and breath almost everything zombie. But this book... was a insulting mess. 

Normally I don't rate DNF books but I have so many problems with this book that I couldn't not rate it. I actually started highlighting all the parts that pissed me off. Sorry if feminism and racism pisses me off but it does. And by 14% there was more highlighted texts than not.

If you don't want to know possible spoilers, stop reading. But if you are curious to know why it pissed me off, by all means, continue.

While they are in gym class Jacob tells the teacher "no offense I don't see how this is exercise. It's just really slow dancing." to which Racist Min replies "T'ai Chi is an ancient martial art, cracker."
Jacob tells her to calm down and Racist Min then attacks him. To which the teacher just sits and watches. 

Min then says "I am calm like a running river." to which a boy replies "Wait, rivers aren't calm."
Min then gets pissed off and says "You're not Asian, you don't understand."

right..... Because race is what totally makes you understand some things. Because there is no way that people could just KNOW. They HAVE to be a certain race to know. Mulan would be disappointed in Min. LOL!

BUT WAIT! It's not over. Min then stands over Jacob who is still in pain and says "Don't fuck with rice power. Once I'm done kicking your ass, I will ruin you down with my Honda."

Only then does the teacher do something. Though sadly all she does was tell some other kid to take Jacob to the nurse and "let her know he mouthed off to Min."

Are. You. Freaking Serious. He didn't do anything! Just ugh! 

And we aren't done yet. Feminist-Marcotte orders the class to split in to teams and the last one picked has to "Run laps for being weak.
Riiiiiiiiight. Couldn't be because they are unpopular or something. They must be WEAK so they must be punished. Yeah, okay. 

and of course because she didn't assign captains, teens boys are fighting over who gets to be captains.
"Rodney and Tom, stop fighting or I'll kick your asses."
Ummm... those are kids you are screaming at. In school. You have ZERO right to cuss or threaten them. You should be fired.

and in case you are wondering where I got feminist from, she tells Min "I don't hate mean, I just think they're the weaker sex." Lol yeah okay. whatever you say lady. 


This book just pissed me off so much, I don't want to even try to finish it. this isn't even half of the stuff I have highlighted! I mean it makes me want to ask, was this book MEANT to be racist and feminist? (Rhetorical question)



Racist quotes from the book:

- "Victor, you're going to be the white man's cannon fodder."
-He was dumb, very dumb, dumber than the average white man.
-Another - another jealous cracker"
-"White woman's gone crazy."

There are tons more that I could write and I just find that incredibly sad that all this was bunched into the first 14%! If it is this bad now, then I am scared to know how much worse it gets later on. Normally I wouldn't call a book trash, but this one is. We literally have enough hate and junk in the world. I don't want to read about it. I just want to enjoy zombies. 

I don't recommend this book. Save your sanity. Dodge this book like you are dodging a baseball to the face.

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